Happy Father’s Day!

Walk a Little Slower Daddy

“Walk a little slower, Daddy," said a little child so small.
“I'm following in your footsteps and I don't want to fall.

“Sometimes your steps are very fast, sometimes they're hard to see;
“So walk a little slower Daddy, for you are leading me.

“Someday when I'm all grown up, you’re what I want to be.
“Then I will have a little child who'll want to follow me.

“And I would want to lead just right, and know that I was true;
“So, walk a little slower, Daddy, for I must follow you!”

- Author Unknown

Further Up and Further In

"I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now...Come further up, come further in!" - Jewel The Unicorn in The Last Battle, C. S. Lewis

Readers of C. S. Lewis's "The Chronicles of Narnia" will recognize the reference to one of the last lines in the Narnia stories.  I was first drawn to the books in my childhood, but over the years, as I have re-read them over and over, I am constantly amazed at the wealth of meaning and symbolism packed in to these seven all-too-short books.

Some scenes and lines have stuck out in my mind since way back when, though at the time, I didn't grasp the greater messages implied.  Since then, I have greatly enjoyed revisiting the stories from time to time, simultaneously reliving the wonder and excitement I experienced back then, and also seeing the stories through my son's eyes.  Most of all, as an adult, I have appreciated Lewis's expression of his faith in a fresh way that engages the imagination and challenges the spirit.

As a worship leader, the scene quoted above resonates with me.  Here is a group of beings discovering the "real" Narnia for the first time, experiencing yet greater heights of joy with every passing moment.  I find that same sense of the wonder of God's amazing love and grace in the book of Ephesians:

"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name.  I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.  Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

There are moments in my life, in the midst of the everyday living, where my spirit catches just a glimpse of these things, and I experience a clarity of thought and emotion, as if I have just awoken from a long dreamless sleep.  My finite mind cannot comprehend of infinity and eternity, and yet, I love to spend time out under a canopy of stars, feeling awed at the evidence of a truth I cannot fully conceive of.  And yet, I experience a strange joy to know that the stark reality of the universe and time without beginning or end has nothing to do with my understanding or acceptance.  It just WAS, and IS, and will ALWAYS BE, and I am but a speck of dust in a split second of time.  Strange, that such thoughts that should depress me instead bring me a sense of wonder and peace.

In the light of space and time, and the God who exists in both, I am nothing, yet the Bible says He knows my name, that He knew me before I was born, and that someday, I will live forever in His presence.  I imagine that each moment will bring greater joy and wonder than the one before as we finally see Him face to face.

Today, live beyond the mundane.  Lift your eyes beyond your circumstances.  Lie back under a blanket of stars, and let the infinite speak to your finite mind.  Dare to hope.  Dare to believe.

"Come further up, come further in!"

Days Go By

How I wish life had a "pause" button.  All the moments that are meaningful are speeding by in a constant blur.  I wish I had the self-discipline to write in my blog more regularly, however mundane the "memory" seems at the moment.  Memories, like wine or cheese, only improve as time goes by.  It's not that I want to chronicle every single miniscule detail of every event that comes across my radar; I just want to capture a snapshot that will trigger other memories and feelings later in life, when I am looking back, as I always seem to be doing.

I don't feel very articulate tonight.  I have so many thoughts and feelings scrambling for supremacy in the forefront of my mind that I end up instead with a jumbled mishmash of vague impressions that I can't quite express adequately.  This post is my lame attempt to express a little pointless frustration at my chronic failure to put myself into words.

Blah blah blah....

The Bedtime Train

Since I'm using this blog to preserve personal family memories, I thought I'd mention the latest bedtime routine that Noah and I have.  It goes something like this:

ME: (making train noises as Mommy gives Noah his imaginary golden ticket)  All aboard!  Tickets please!

NOAH: (extending the ticket to me)  Here you go!

ME: (closely inspecting the ticket)  Another golden ticket!?!  Someone must love you VERY much!

NOAH: (grinning from ear to ear) My momma does!

ME: (punches ticket and hands it back before picking Noah up in my arms)  LAST CALL!!!

NOAH AND ME: (as Noah pretends to pull the train whistle)  WHOO WHOO!!!!  (singing together as we make our way upstairs) "All aboard the bedtime train....."

It varies sometimes, but Noah loves the routine!  Of course, he enjoys it more if there is a story still to be told as he's tucked in.  Sometimes the story is from a book, but more often than not, it's from DADDY'S BOOK OF TRULY INCREDIBLE TALES OF ADVENTURE.  But that's another post entirely for another time.  :-)

Leaving Fall...

The foliage this year has been absolutely beautiful.  Most years, the majority of the leaves would have fallen by now, leaving mostly barren trees as a portend of the approaching winter.  Yes, it has peaked, and the annual stampede of leafpeepers have dissipated, returning to wherever they have come from.  But the foliage remains.

I had wanted to take long car rides this fall, armed with my trusty camera, and capture the beauty that is northern New Hampshire in the fall.  Unfortunately, problems with both of our vehicles have left us restricted to our local community.  Nevertheless, I've taken a few pictures here and there, mostly pre-peak and post-peak, but more than I have in recent years.

Earlier today, Noah and I were out for a quick ride to Grammie's house, and I thought to grab my camera.  In the short five minute ride, I managed to get a few fairly decent shots in, stopping the car several times along the way.

"Dad," Noah piped up from the back seat, "why do you keep stopping to take so many pictures of the leaves?!"

I expressed to him how beautiful I thought they were, and how I wanted to try to capture the breathtaking imagery of the late afternoon sunlight streaming through the still-colorful leaves.  Then it occurred to me -- the next time I would see the leaves again would be through the eyes of a 40-year-old.

I still haven't resolved how I'm feeling about this particular transition in my life, but at the moment, I seem to be at peace about the whole thing.  Of course, that may change as the days and months pass, but for now, I'm not nearly as worked up about it as I imagined I would be by now.

Anyway, back to the leaves...

Autumn is precious to me, altogether too short, but sweet nonetheless.  The sights of the changing leaves coupled with the crispness of the air evokes many warm memories of years gone by.  Fall, to me, has always been like a visit from an old friend who happens to be in town for a few days, a time of reminiscing and of remembering, but most of all, just the peaceful joy of enjoying the season for what it is.

Stocking Up

One of the purposes of this blog is to chronicle some of the fleeting details of life that can't quite be captured in pictures or video. On that note, I wanted to preserve one of the sweetest exchanges that Noah and I regularly have when I (or he) is leaving for part of the day.

Simply put, we make sure that we are stocked up on our hugs, kisses, "I love you"s, stories, songs, adventures, etc. for the day. I "put" several of the aforementioned things into my hand, and hand them over to him for safekeeping until he decides to draw from them throughout the day.

Before long, he was reciprocating and trading off with me when we would say our goodbyes. I just wish I could wrap them up and keep them in a box somewhere as keepsakes of his childhood. Then again, I suppose I am already doing that in the memory keepsake box that is my heart. :)

The "List"

As part of Noah's bedtime routine, Mom usually spends some time with him downstairs, cuddling with him on the couch and singing songs to him. Daddy then tucks him into bed, and spends some time with him, reading to him, telling him stories, or talking about the day's events.

One particular night, Noah asked if we could talk about something. "Sure, bud," I replied, "What would you like to talk about?" Much to my surprise, he pretended to be unscrolling a list, and said, "Let's see, three things from my list..." while reviewing it. "Here's one! How does electricity get to the lamp?"

Since then, we frequently draw our bed-time conversations from "the list", which has since grown into the "long list" and the "short list". I can't exactly explain the difference between the two, other than that he likes to ask at least one question from both lists. Fortunately, more often than not, I've been able to somewhat answer the questions adequately. I admit, though, I've had to just smile and respond "I don't know the answer to that. We'll have to look it up tomorrow." Which he usually holds me to!